I thought it important to outline my reasons for leaving; hence here is the letter sent to the powers that be to let them know of my decision to leave:

 

I am writing this email to let you know of my decision to leave Regnum Christi. This decision, as you well know, as not been made lightly or in a moment of emotions.  It has been made with careful thinking and prayer.  This decision does not in anyway negate my own experience with Regnum Christi or as a coworker which was an amazingly fruitful time for me, one I would not change because God brought me closer to Himself during this time. I am grateful for all the time and energy spent on me, and hope to count all my friends in the Movement as friends once I leave.

However, in good conscience I can no longer put my name behind a Movement that exalted a man to the point of giving him almost mythical like powers, who turned out to be a pedophile, scam artist, and embezzler. While I do not pass judgment on Fr Marciel, I do believe God gave us intellect to reason.  Fr Marciel’s actions were despicable but I, as every Christian, understand that God’s judgment takes into account things we cannot know and I hope and pray that he found His Mercy. However,  the actions of the Movement’s leadership, whether intentional or not following the revelations (and even before) speak to a Movement incapable of healthy self critique and for the most part, incapable of recognizing where it has hurt so many people.  Furthermore, the fact that at least from 2006 some in the leadership knew at least some details of Fr Marciel (although I suspect those closest to him knew things long before) and yet continued to attest to his innocence and stake OUR names on this innocence, is the ultimate in betrayal.  This speaks to a Movement which puts its reputation above the very real hurt of those left in its wake. I cannot believe Christ would do that.

To pursue legal action against individuals who saw the destruction caused by Fr Marciel or who fell victim to horrific sexual abuse, or to slander them (even in whispers) betrays the commandment to charity something which is supposed to be held as King virtue in the movement.  We failed to protect the little ones, Christ’s beloved, and we fail to see this or rectify it.  A Movement which seeks to hide part of itself, which shuns ex members or hides the fact that previous members (lay or religious) have left and continues to provide false information about those wishing to know join is not a normal religious congregation. I can speak to many congregations who joyfully celebrate when one discerns that their vocation is not to remain, because this is not being unfaithful, or ungenerous, but is rather seeking Gods will.  These and other cult like elements I now recognise are worrying and are unhealthy.  There are many people reporting seriously disturbing experiences with the Legion and RC, such that I cannot conclude they are isolated incidents but rather form a pattern  of a Movement that is in many ways, sick from the inside out.

Finally, I wish to address one point that we talked about in our last SD. You mentioned my participation in the Movement as a ‘Vocation.’  After some research on this idea, I found out that there are only three vocations in the Church; married, religious or more recently, single life.  One might feel called to a particular spirituality, but ultimately to present the Movement as a vocation sets up those who wish to leave as walking out of Gods will – a very heavy thing indeed to lay on anyone’s shoulders!  I can serve the Church and follow my path just as well outside the Movement as in, and while I am in no doubt that God wished me to be a part of it for a time, He now wishes for me to move on, and grow without it.

All that I love about the Movement is really just the Catholic Church!  The Movement introducing me to this is something I will always be thankful for, but I do not believe I have a life long Vocation that I am walking away from.  My vocation is to be fully human and Catholic; anything beyond this may or may not be fruitful but whatever the case is not ‘necessary.’  I am not walking away from saving souls because I can do that in whatever I do. I am not walking away because I am scared of suffering or am ungenerous; truth be told to leave causes me more pain and suffering than staying because I am walking away from something that was family for me for a long time, and from many people who I admire who will not understand what I am doing and most likely think badly of me because of it.

My decision was made ultimately when I realised that if I knew everything that I know now, I would not join the Movement, nor would I have made the vow to Second Degree.  I would not recommend anyone joining the Movement now unless some very real and huge changes are made and I am unsure that the Movement is capable of making those even with outside help.  In light of this, I no longer believe (and indeed to be honest, never really believed) that it is my mission to get people into Regnum Christi (under the guise of bringing them to Christ) and since part of belonging is to pursue this ideal I would probably make a fairly useless member anyways!  I realise many members, lay and religious followed and continue to follow this mandate because they genuinely believe it is God’s will and want to save souls. But ultimately I could never grasp how a Movement that existed for “the good of the Church” seemed to do so much for the good of itself.

I say none of this to suggest that you or many who I respect and love in the Movement are intentionally a part of any of this.  As I said, there are many I love and respect in the Movement and will continue to do so.  Many people have in turn loved and supported me, and I am so grateful.

 

The Movement was a huge part of my life for many years, and in many ways gave me so very much and I am grateful. But seeing what I see now, I cannot stay silent. I do not judge anyone still in the Movement as I realise that ones path is a decision made between the soul and God.

 

Pax Christi

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